Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Good Old Days

Imagine way back when, waaaaay waaaay back, when humans lived in tribes and small villages...

Imagine how they dealt with guy who broke tribal law, raped the chiefs daughter or failed to belch with enough gusto to make the cook proud. Perhaps he got off easy with a severe beating...or a mild stoning. He was lucky, they liked him, but what about the ones who really screwed up?

What of the liars? The guys who told bald-faced lies promising their neighbors protection and friendship while plotting to steal and betray them. I'm sure that behavior would quickly destroy a tribe if not dealt with quickly - perhaps by cutting out his tongue, lopping his hand off or banishing him from society.

Would they be gentle to the guy who stole from all of them only to give it to party dude guy? You know, the guy who huffs dino-pooh, or smacks his head repeatedly with rocks just because the colors are so wow man. The guy who wakes up at the crack of noon so he can get am early start on his mead chugging. I'm sure you've seen his descendants hanging around the paper shop and the pastures where the cows are asking for it.

Or how about the guy who opens the gate so the enemy can raid the village? The one who happily turned a blind eye to the 50 people slaughtered due to his betrayal since his payoff of glass beads and a very willing and soft sheep more than makes up for their deaths.

My imagination isn't that great, yet I'm certain a large roughly hewn log and their rectum were involved though, and that just to warm them up before the rest of the tribe had a chance at them. Who knows what they'd do to someone who did both crimes, especially if he was trusted to lead them all.

You didn't have to worry about being elected out of office back then. Your constituents were thousands of deadly perils you had to deftly deal with daily. You worried about making it through the day alive. The last thing you did was show outright contempt for your fellow tribesmen.

Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi should have been born a few thousand years ago.

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