Filter Happier

One of the scarier aspects of our benevolent overlords, the Democrats, is their aversion to speech that challenges them on their ideals and practices. Now, with a Democratic lead Congress and a Democratic president elect, our ability to even question them is in danger.

Despite their rhetoric in 2006 about not bringing back the Fairness Doctrine, the Democratic leadership has, since then, said on many occasions that they'd like to see the Fairness Doctrine reenacted. Now they're even more vocal and hungry for some kind of curtail on Conservative speech.

They want to expand the Fairness Doctrine to include speech on the internet along with radio broadcasts. Added to this is the FCC's plan to make the internet free for everyone. This means the government will have direct control over ISPs since most won't be able to compete with other companies that provide free service and will have to join the program to receive their monthly stipend. That stipend will come with catches, as do all government checks.

Once the ISPs are controlled properly the government can enact programs like this without the unsavory practice of debating it in public. Filtering out unwanted content like hate speech and pedophile tips may be tolerable to most, but will they still tolerate a filter that targets their political dissent, religious speech or their non-PC mannerisms? Ten years ago I'd say never, today I can't be that sure.

The following might be a good plan for the enforced, approved behavior that will surely come once speech is fully regulated. A happy worker is a productive worker, and a productive worker doesn't cause trouble by deviating from the preset parameters. Be productive...for the good of the state:

Filter Happier
by Radiohead

More productive
Comfortable
Not drinking too much
Regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)
Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
At ease
Eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
A patient better driver
A safer car (baby smiling in back seat)
Sleeping well (no bad dreams)
No paranoia
Careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
Keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
Will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
Favors for favors
Fond but not in love
Charity standing orders
On sundays ring road supermarket
(No killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
Car wash (also on sundays)
No longer afraid of the dark
Or midday shadows
Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
Nothing so childish
At a better pace
Slower and more calculated
No chance of escape
Now self-employed
Concerned (but powerless)
An empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism)
Will not cry in public
Less chance of illness
Tires that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat)
A good memory
Still cries at a good film
Still kisses with saliva
No longer empty and frantic
Like a cat
Tied to a stick
That's driven into
Frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness)
Calm
Fitter, healthier and more productive
A pig
In a cage
On antibiotics